《人生七年》悟出的5条人生法则
英国导演迈克尔·艾普特拍了一部很牛的BBC纪录片《人生七年》(《56UP》),导演选择了14个不同阶层的孩子进行跟踪拍摄,每七年记录一次、从7岁一直到56岁。很多文章解读说这就像之前天涯很火的那篇《寒门难再出贵子》,暴露了人生的残酷。
然而,一千个人眼中有一千个哈姆雷特。在这里换个角度另类解读这部每7年就火一次的纪录片——《人生七年》告诉我们的5条人生法则。
1. Count your blessings.
要记得时常感恩。
The most troubled—and compelling—participants in the series are the ones that are also among the most grateful for what they have.
纪录片中遇到麻烦最多、同时也最引人注目的角色,往往也是那些对自己所拥有的一切最懂得感恩的人。
Neil, for example, suffers severe mental illness and has been homeless and suicidal for long stretches of time. But Neil also provides the audience with many moments of grace, as when he recounts how grateful he is for long walks and conversations with friends.
比如说,影片中的尼尔患有严重的精神疾病,很长时间都流浪在外、犹豫在自杀的边缘。但尼尔带给观众的,还有很多优雅的镜头:回想起和朋友们的长途漫步、促膝而谈,他感到很满足。
This sense of gratitude contributes powerfully to the resilience self-cure of Neil. People who live a life of pervasive thankfulness really do experience life differently than people who cheat themselves out of life by not feeling grateful.
正是这种感恩的意识,促进了尼尔的恢复和自愈。对生活毫无感恩的人其实是欺骗了自己的生活,而对生活充满感恩的人、他们的生活体验真的与众不同。
2. Life goes on.
无论发生什么,生活都会继续。
Through the years, we've seen the participants experience deaths, divorce, and dramatic career setbacks. We've also seen them prevail against adversity.
在纪录片中,我们可以看到参与拍摄的人们经历死亡、离婚、突发的职场挫折等等,也见证了他们走出逆境。
Over and over, we've seen the participants believe negative events meant their lives were finished. But people will gradually return to their personal “baseline” of happiness after a triumph or a tragedy.
多少次,这些人认为他们人生中的挫折似乎意味着自己的生活完蛋了,然而并没有。人们在战胜困难或经受磨难后,会逐渐回归到最基本平常的幸福。
The key to happiness is to raise that baseline by cultivating an approach to life that emphasizes appreciation for the good things, as well as qualities like forgiveness and compassion.
幸福的秘诀就是培养这样的人生态度:欣赏生命中美好的事情、培养宽容和富有同情心的素质。
3. Relationships matter—a lot.
人际关系很重要。
"At 56, for people who put energy into families, there was a big payback," said Michael Apted.
导演迈克尔·艾普特说,“56岁的时候,那些为家庭尽心尽力的人,都得到了很大的回报。”
Again and again, the "Up" series reveals how critical friends, family, and social connections are to an individual’s success and happiness in life. For both men and women, caring for others invested their lives with a meaning that they weren't able to find in any other activity.
《人生七年》曾多次证实了友情、亲情、社会关系对于一个人成功和拥有幸福生活的重要影响。无论是男人还是女人,爱给他们人生带来的意义、是其他任何活动都无法得到的。
4. Money also matters—but only up to a point.
钱很重要,但只是在某种层面上重要。
The series originally set out to examine the long-term impact of social class on happiness and life chances. And it does, in fact, show that money matters. But the research also shows that once we secure food, shelter, and a minimum level of comfort, happiness springs from life meaning and relationships much more than money.
纪录片的初衷是想验证英国社会阶级对人生幸福和机遇的影响。事实上,它的确验证了金钱的重要性。但它也表明,一旦我们能够满足食物、住所、基本的舒适感,幸福的源泉更多来自于人生意义、人际关系,而非金钱。
5. Don't compare yourself to others.
不要老拿自己和别人做对比。
Yes, research does find that inequality makes us unhappy—but it turns out that this has little to do with absolute amounts of money. It's the comparisons that hurt.
纪录片中我们可以发现,不平衡感会使我们感到不幸福,然而结果表明不幸福感并不是因为钱的多少,而是对比本身给我们带来的伤害。
We hurt ourselves with comparisons to others, but we can't seem to stop. Remember that each life must be judged on its own terms.
在与别人的对比中,我们伤害了自己。但我们却仿佛停不下来。要记住,你的人生过得怎样与别人无关。
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