我的儿子说他想成为科学家,这样就能给他外婆治病了
A mother and daughter's relationship dramatically changes after a dementia diagnosis. As the condition takes hold, tables turn and a daughter often becomes a carer. Here, as we approach Mother's Day, three women share how they cope with the heartbreak of gradually losing the mum they always knew but will never stop loving.
诊断出痴呆症后,母亲和女儿的关系发生了显著变化。随着病情的发展,母亲由强变弱,女儿通常成了照顾者。在此,快到母亲节了,3位女性分享了她们处理这件令人心碎之事的故事:即将慢慢失去她们所熟知的母亲,但却会一直爱着她。My six-year-old son wants to be a scientist so he can cure the condition that's taking Grandma. Jane Cox, 36, lives in Maidenhead, Berks, with her husband Kevin, son Charlie, six, and three-year-old daughter Molly. We are a very open family and good at talking about our feelings, but none of us could talk about early signs of Mum's dementia.
我6岁的儿子想成为一名科学家,这样他就能治疗夺走他外婆的这种疾病了。简·考克斯今年36岁,和她的丈夫凯文、6岁的儿子查理以及3岁的女儿茉莉住在伯克郡梅登黑德。我们是一个开放的家庭,经常互诉衷肠,但我们却无法开口提及母亲痴呆症的早期迹象。My mum Janet was diagnosed at 60 but showed signs for three or four years before. She was a teacher for visually impaired children and became overwhelmed with paperwork and felt unable to use a computer. We put it down to anxiety, stress or depression.
我的母亲珍妮特在60岁的时候被诊断出痴呆症,但三四年前就已经显露出迹象了。她给视觉受损的孩子上课,文书工作压倒了她、让她觉得无法使用电脑了。我们将其归结为焦虑、压力或抑郁。
She grew more forgetful and didn't seem interested in our lives. Our mum, always so devoted to us, couldn't remember what jobs we did or the names of our friends. Each Christmas Mum made an amazing trifle. But one year she made a sad-looking dish with no jelly or cream. None of us had the heart to say anything but we had an inkling it was dementia.
她变得越来越健忘,对我们的生活也不感兴趣。我们的母亲,之前总是围着我们转,但却想不起我们的职业、也记不得我们朋友的名字。每年圣诞节,母亲都会做一些令人惊叹的小事。但有一年,她做了一道看起来没有食欲、没有果冻、也没有奶油的菜。我们什么都没说,但心里却觉得这是老年痴呆的迹象。For me, those first days of early-onset Alzheimer's were the hardest because Mum's personality changed. She had always been a brilliant mum - warm, friendly, chatty, outgoing and sociable. She adored having neighbours around and friends loved coming to our house for sleepovers. Mum had a strong sense of charity and every year held a card sale for Save The Children raising thousands.
于我而言,这些呈现老年痴呆症初期迹象的日子是最难度过的,因为母亲的性格变了很多。她一直都是位聪慧的母亲--温暖、友好、健谈、外向,也很爱社交。她喜欢邻居来家里玩,朋友也喜欢到我们家过夜。母亲十分注重慈善,每年都会举行卡片义卖活动,为"救助儿童会"筹资成千上万美元。At first, Mum became more forgetful and needy, but then became extremely angry and frustrated. As her condition progressed, she also became delusional.
起初,母亲变得更加健忘、更加需要帮助,但之后又变得非常生气、沮丧。随着病情的发展,她得了妄想症。Some say they feel dementia makes their loved one slip away. But for my mum there was a brutal shift. She thought my dad, Andrew, an endlessly kind and patient man who retired early to look after Mum, was locking her in the house and people were trying to steal her furniture.
有些人说,他们觉得老年痴呆症使他们的爱人走远了。但对我的母亲而言,痴呆症使她发生了残酷转变。我的父亲安德鲁是一位非常善良、有耐心的男人,为了照顾我妈,他甚至早几年就退休了。但母亲却认为父亲把她锁在家里,认为人们都想偷走她的家具。
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