适合初一的英文笑话精选
互联网不仅是我们生活中不可缺少的,而且也是我们工作学习之余缓解压力、舒缓情绪的重要渠道。正是由于我们有这样的需要,网络笑话得以繁荣兴盛。本站小编整理了适合初一的英文笑话,欢迎阅读!
适合初一的英文笑话:The MuleOn Monday Fred, an old country farmer, bought a mule from Luke, another old farmer, for $100. Luke promised to deliver the mule the next day.
On Tuesday Luke drove up and said, "Sorry, Fred, but I have some bad news. The mule died."
Fred: Well, then, just give me my money back.
Luke: Can't do that. I went and spent it already.
Fred: Well, OK then. Just unload the mule.
Luke: What ya gonna do with a dead mule?
Fred: I'm going to raffle him off.
Luke: You can't raffle off a dead mule!
Fred: Sure I can. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.
Several days later the two farmers meet up.
Luke: Whatever happened with that dead mule?
Fred: I raffled him off just like I said I would. Sold 500 tickets at $2 each!
Luke: Didn't anyone complain?
Fred: Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.
适合初一的英文笑话:The ChihuahuaOnce there three male dogs who set eyes on a beautiful female poodle. They all rushed over to her. Aware of her charms, she said, "I will go out with the first one of you who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an intelligent sentence."
Immediately the Lab said, "I like liver and cheese."
"No imagination at all," said the poodle.
Next was the muscular Rottweiler, who blurted, "I hate liver and cheese."
"That's worse than the Lab," she replied.
Finally a tiny chihuahua smiled at his opponents, gave the poodle a knowing wink, and said, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
适合初一的英文笑话:Lion Tamerwo unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."
The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."
"Yes I do!"
"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"
"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down."
"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"
"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down."
"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him."
"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"
"Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of
the cage."
"Well, what if there ain't no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."
适合初一的英文笑话:Dammit Skippy!A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and thebroccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.
The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"
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