经典科幻文学:《银河系漫游指南》第6章 Part 7
Ford looked up from where he was sitting in a corner humming to himself. He always found the actual travelling-through-space part of space travel rather trying.
"Yeah?" he said.
"If you're a researcher on this book thing and you were on Earth, you must have been gathering material on it."
"Well, I was able to extend the original entry a bit, yes."
"Let me see what it says in this edition then, I've got to see it."
"Yeah OK." He passed it over again.
Arthur grabbed hold of it and tried to stop his hands shaking. He pressed the entry for the relevant page. The screen flashed and swirled and resolved into a page of print. Arthur stared at it.
"It doesn't have an entry!" he burst out.
Ford looked over his shoulder.
"Yes it does," he said, "down there, see at the bottom of the screen, just under Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6."
Arthur followed Ford's finger, and saw where it was pointing. For a moment it still didn't register, then his mind nearly blew up.
"What? Harmless? Is that all it's got to say? Harmless! One word!"
Ford shrugged.
"Well, there are a hundred billion stars in the Galaxy, and only a limited amount of space in the book's microprocessors," he said, "and no one knew much about the Earth of course."
"Well for God's sake I hope you managed to rectify that a bit."
"Oh yes, well I managed to transmit a new entry off to the editor. He had to trim it a bit, but it's still an improvement."
"And what does it say now?" asked Arthur.
"Mostly harmless," admitted Ford with a slightly embarrassed cough.
"Mostly harmless!" shouted Arthur.
福特抬起头,他正坐在一个角落里自己哼哼着什么。他一直觉得空间旅行过程中实际穿越空间那部分非常难受,让人相当疲惫。
“什么事?”他问。
“如果你是这本书所收录内容的研究者,又在地球上,那你肯定为它收集过地球的资料吧。”
“噢,是的,我确实能帮着对原始条目作一点扩充。”
“让我看看关于地球这上面都说了些什么,我一定得看看。”
“好吧,随便你。”这一次福特又同意了。
阿瑟捧着书,努力想让自己的手不要颤抖。他按下相应页码的条目。屏幕开始闪烁,出现旋涡状的图案,最后显示出一个打印页。阿瑟盯着看了半天。
“这个条目是空的啊!”他大叫一声。
福特从他肩膀上看过来。
“不可能,有内容的,”他说,“往下看,看屏幕的底部,就在‘奇异Gallumbits’的上边,就是那些长着三个乳房的妓女。”
阿瑟顺着福特的指头看过去,找准了位置。一时间他还是没有反应过来,然后才突然爆发了。
“什么!‘无害’?这就是它的全部内容吗?‘无害’!就这么一个词!”
福特耸了耸肩。
“噢,是这样的,银河系里有几千亿颗星球,而这本书的微处理器容量有限,”他说,“所以当然不可能讲多少地球了。”
“好吧,可看在上帝的份上,你就不能稍稍调整一丁点儿吗?”
“哦,是的,我当然调整了。我给编辑传送了一个新的条目。他可能会删改一点儿,但这已经是一种改进了。”
“那么现在最新的解释是什么呢?”阿瑟问道。
“‘基本上无害’。”福特尴尬地轻咳了一声,然后说道。
“‘基本上无害’!”阿瑟叫起来。
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